(no subject)

I'm really having some kind of internal crisis. I'm so bipolar, it's annoying me. I'm very aware of what I do and why I do it. I make myself cry sometimes just to cry because it feels good. I realize it when I'm being a heinous bitch. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm very bored with who I am.

The other day, my grandma said, "that girl has self esteem on top of self esteem." That I can agree with. But I don't understand why I have all of this self esteem and can do anything I damn well feel like doing, yet, I don't know who the hell I am supposed to be. Stupid fucking identity crises.

I still miss Bill. I can't help it. I'm not in love with him, I just miss him. I want to hang out with him before he goes back to school. I want to make ammense. I want to be mature about it, and I want him to be mature about it.

I want school to start.

I have a headache.

I need people.