![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Top of the world.
Sep. 16th, 2003 06:29 pmI just don't know anymore.
There are so many me's, and sometimes they beat up on each other.
And usually, one of them gets hurt.
Like now, for instance:
Bullying, pessimist me is ganging up on the sensitive and conservative me. The latter is bruised and overestimates the power of her abuser.
I just want to crawl into a small, warm, comfortable closet and lay there forever. I could look up through dresses and sweaters and ugly shirts that I'll never wear and old winter coats and those articles of clothing that don't even fit but I just had to hold on to. I'd make the plastic covers and shirt sleeves and dress hems and pant legs dance when my hands swim underneath. When I sleep, tossing and turning, I'll be comforted by the gentle graces of the fabrics consoling my skin.
I'd have no idle conversations, for they all would be with me. If I got bored, I'd simply ignore me. I seem to accel at that.
No one would exist for my jealousy to thrive. There would be no one to make me angry or envious or pressured or sad. There would be no one up to build me up to let me down.
Every night would be a Friday night alone because I would not know what day it was. Through practice, it'd be something I could get used to.
What's it feel like to have your wish come true?
There are so many me's, and sometimes they beat up on each other.
And usually, one of them gets hurt.
Like now, for instance:
Bullying, pessimist me is ganging up on the sensitive and conservative me. The latter is bruised and overestimates the power of her abuser.
I just want to crawl into a small, warm, comfortable closet and lay there forever. I could look up through dresses and sweaters and ugly shirts that I'll never wear and old winter coats and those articles of clothing that don't even fit but I just had to hold on to. I'd make the plastic covers and shirt sleeves and dress hems and pant legs dance when my hands swim underneath. When I sleep, tossing and turning, I'll be comforted by the gentle graces of the fabrics consoling my skin.
I'd have no idle conversations, for they all would be with me. If I got bored, I'd simply ignore me. I seem to accel at that.
No one would exist for my jealousy to thrive. There would be no one to make me angry or envious or pressured or sad. There would be no one up to build me up to let me down.
Every night would be a Friday night alone because I would not know what day it was. Through practice, it'd be something I could get used to.
What's it feel like to have your wish come true?
