(no subject)

I feel kind of lied to, is all.
I feel lied to, betrayed, walked on, and beaten in.
That's why I have been so upset.

Jazz was alright. I wasn't really in a jazzy mood. Good job, everyone.

Yesterday, I spent 12-5 working on my English project. Then, I came home and spent 10-1:30 working on the creative writing part of the project, and I just woke up so I could finish it before I had to leave at 10:45 to go finish the project altogether.

Life is so hectic.

My mind is all over the place.

I'm always tired.
I'm always sick.

Yesterday, I woke myself up crying. Yeah, I was crying in my sleep. I had a dream that I was there when Gramp died. I was bawling in the dream, and it woke me up. I had been crying in "real life" too.

At jazz on Wednesday, I went to go to my seat, and I slipped off the edge of one of the levels, right where Scott was sitting. I caught myself, but I just had to stand there and compose myself. It upset me so much, I had started to cry.

The last thing that I really need right now is having my friends tell me what they think I need. I mean, it's always appreciated, but sometimes, you just have to lay off. I don't have any problems understanding my situations I'm in. Some of my friends do, but they try to help anyways, and it just makes me angry.

Everyone made a big deal out of my wanting someone. Please don't. It's a natural human desire to want that. I don't think it's so much to ask for, and I dont understand why everyone thinks it's such a vain thing.

Nobody can be perfect.
Everything gets compromised in perfection.

BRACK (offhandedly). He should be so lucky to have you as the master of his fate.