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Apr. 10th, 2005 10:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crazybeautifulI haven't updated for eight days, which is a feat for me.
To everyone, another general apology for the ways that I am, from me. Things just aren't right. My mind isn't right, these people aren't right, nothing's quite right. Things keep happening that keep throwing me off right after I'll make my recovery, and it just pushes me farther and farther down.
You know those faraway looks I get? It's because I'm always thinking or worrying about something. Conseqences and hypotheticals are always playing at the picture show. Reruns, too.
I really wish that I knew what turns you off from me. I don't push people away, but rather, they never approach. I feel lonely when no one calls or talks to me, or invites me places, or wants to hang out, or forgets, or doesn't talk to me in passing, or say good morning or nod when I do.
It's the worst when you really love someone, and he can't be there when you need him the most at that given moment, or even within the following two hours. Or that you can't call her because you wouldn't want to upset her with your own troubles. These things can break anyone in two.
I say things. And it seems that everyone thinks that I say things to be mean, but I say things out of honesty. We live in such an egocentric world, and everyone takes everything so personally.
I give my love everyday.
No one will ever break this spirit of mine.
To everyone, another general apology for the ways that I am, from me. Things just aren't right. My mind isn't right, these people aren't right, nothing's quite right. Things keep happening that keep throwing me off right after I'll make my recovery, and it just pushes me farther and farther down.
You know those faraway looks I get? It's because I'm always thinking or worrying about something. Conseqences and hypotheticals are always playing at the picture show. Reruns, too.
I really wish that I knew what turns you off from me. I don't push people away, but rather, they never approach. I feel lonely when no one calls or talks to me, or invites me places, or wants to hang out, or forgets, or doesn't talk to me in passing, or say good morning or nod when I do.
It's the worst when you really love someone, and he can't be there when you need him the most at that given moment, or even within the following two hours. Or that you can't call her because you wouldn't want to upset her with your own troubles. These things can break anyone in two.
I say things. And it seems that everyone thinks that I say things to be mean, but I say things out of honesty. We live in such an egocentric world, and everyone takes everything so personally.
I give my love everyday.
No one will ever break this spirit of mine.
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no subject
Date: 2005-04-11 03:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-11 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-12 01:26 am (UTC)meimei