(no subject)
Sep. 24th, 2003 04:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crazybeautifulIf I wasn't so chicken shit, I'd have a few choice words to say to the man. As much as I love the man, his politics are stupid, and I honestly dont think he sees this. I can dream about having great, ferocious, fulminant arguments with him where I come out of the battles feeling like the victor. I cannot believe this.
Last year in jazz, I was upset because I made Studio band instead of JE because a senior that I was better than got the spot in JE. I cried. I cried a lot. Granted, crying doesn't get you very far, but it's expression.
We get upset because we love things so much.
We get upset when we know something's not right.
We get upset when we don't receive what we truly deserve.
In playing his little game, the man has seamlessly and silently hurt some people. In his little game, he broke his own rules, using talent in some places and certain seniority in others.
I feel as the man should. He should feel horrible and guilty. I feel this way because I feel as if I led two people on. Granted, I was absolutely POSTIVE of the outcome. There was not a single doubt in my mind, not one.
You should've made Studio. You have been a part of it longer, and you have more patience than most of the rest. You are one of the exceptions to the man's rules, but in this case, he was picking favorites. You certainly would have been one of my favorites. You are the kind that would deny the need for my consolation, but anyone who wants to be apart of something could hide their disappointment if they didn't get what they wanted. You deserve more than what you got, you truly do.
To the other you, merely my tears can express how I truly feel. I'm so sorry if I led you on. I was absolutely positive, no doubt in my mind, there was no swaying. You were to be with me, however it worked out, you are supposed to be with me. You're right; you don't deserve this shit. You never did anything to deserve this. Nothing. You are wonderful and talented, and I really am truly hurt that you didn't get what you wanted more than your opponent, that you deserved more than your opponent, and that you cared about more than your opponent. It simply isn't fair. Don't let anyone try to console your tears or anger or disappointment. They are just, fair tears; they are right tears. The least you should be allowed is to cry, be angry. Please, just know inside that you ARE the better one, that you are the deserving one, and that you are the wonderful one.
Last year in jazz, I was upset because I made Studio band instead of JE because a senior that I was better than got the spot in JE. I cried. I cried a lot. Granted, crying doesn't get you very far, but it's expression.
We get upset because we love things so much.
We get upset when we know something's not right.
We get upset when we don't receive what we truly deserve.
In playing his little game, the man has seamlessly and silently hurt some people. In his little game, he broke his own rules, using talent in some places and certain seniority in others.
I feel as the man should. He should feel horrible and guilty. I feel this way because I feel as if I led two people on. Granted, I was absolutely POSTIVE of the outcome. There was not a single doubt in my mind, not one.
You should've made Studio. You have been a part of it longer, and you have more patience than most of the rest. You are one of the exceptions to the man's rules, but in this case, he was picking favorites. You certainly would have been one of my favorites. You are the kind that would deny the need for my consolation, but anyone who wants to be apart of something could hide their disappointment if they didn't get what they wanted. You deserve more than what you got, you truly do.
To the other you, merely my tears can express how I truly feel. I'm so sorry if I led you on. I was absolutely positive, no doubt in my mind, there was no swaying. You were to be with me, however it worked out, you are supposed to be with me. You're right; you don't deserve this shit. You never did anything to deserve this. Nothing. You are wonderful and talented, and I really am truly hurt that you didn't get what you wanted more than your opponent, that you deserved more than your opponent, and that you cared about more than your opponent. It simply isn't fair. Don't let anyone try to console your tears or anger or disappointment. They are just, fair tears; they are right tears. The least you should be allowed is to cry, be angry. Please, just know inside that you ARE the better one, that you are the deserving one, and that you are the wonderful one.
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-24 02:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-24 02:51 pm (UTC)it's fucked up
no subject
Date: 2003-09-24 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-24 06:55 pm (UTC)